confusion attacks...

I dont know what is it... am I insensitive and brave already? Or am I only trying to be one... Damn, I know I still like him, but I`m really tired of this feeling so I want to move in... I know I can and sometimes I feel I`m already over but its keeps on coming back... ahhhh....

what`s happening?

Happy Father`s DAy... I don`t have a Dad but I know He`s just there guiding and watching me all the way...

I love you!

Goodbye... go to hell...

Goodbye to you... as I loved and as a friend(?). I think so, coz you`re such a cold blooded person with no heart... you`re nothing but a user one and a fucking dreamer...

changing my career path

I worked as a call center agent before and as an accounting graduate i still have plans of becoming a Certified Public accountant, just like my brother and just like my mother expecting me to be. After I resigned at my call center company becoz of boredom, i mean doing the same things again and again.

After resting for almost 3 months I tried to apply again to start my career as an accounting staff, but after waiting for the fucking promises of the company three times to call again for the next liar`s interview, im still waiting here for nothing until inthe third company the HR pushed me to be their Sales Assistant because of my experiences while discouraging me in the position that I want... (accounting staff, that`s better for experience and while taking my review)... but at the end She promised me to call if I`m qualified or not, but she didn`t call as always.

After series of war with my mother because of being jobless or "palamunin" im still hoping that my brother`s promise to pay for my review will happen... but I think destiny says it all, my dream to review didn`t happen and the last call for accounting staff that I`m praying comes to nothing...

Until, I realized why should not try to be in sales, maybe, just maybe, that`s my destiny... to be in sales or in a job that is more on talking or using my PR, like working in a call center again... and work hard as I can, and try to be happy with that job... what if I get rich with that, Am I right?

New friends

We met Rene "ate glow" last saturday, June 17... the next day it was wednesday Ate glow joined 2 more gays one of them is Pretty Trisha and believe me he`s so nice that you wont even realized that he`s a star... and before we seperate our ways he promised that he will treat us the following day at the same place... and on the next day, it was June 15. He came with IC Mendoza, Inday Badiday`s Grand Son... He`s so pretty and young and nice as well... The two of them made our night so happy and wonderful that we forgot our problems and believe me or not it was like we watched their stand up comedy show that night... Heyahhh to them, I wish luck to their career and I know they will become successful soon coz of their good heart!

it hurts...

it really hurt me... i Didnt know when to start until i realized that i have enough... i learned to move on and love myself... I have to think about myself, there`s a lot in life waiting for me... but it is hurting me to feel that its like he doesnt even know me... as if i don`t exist... the cold text and conversation and avoiding me when we`re together... I tried so hard to get back the friendship though its so hard. I don`t even want to get mad to him but its like he`s pushing me to feel that...

i`d rather be alone by Karyn White

Mmm...mmm...I don’t wanna be a fool, I don’t wanna be a fool for loveNo, no, I won’t, noHey, no, ooh...

I know that people do go through changes, yeahBut this just don’t make no damn senseIf we’re gonna keep sayin’ we love one another, yeah, yeahWell, then we better stop fightin’ and arguin’

‘Cause baby, I’ve heard “I’m sorry” too many, many times beforeNow I know betterIt hurts to hold on to this kind of love even moreNo, I’m not crazy

I won’t be a fool, a fool for love‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappyI’m not gonna choose, choose for you‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy

I know it’s time to go when I feel lonelyWhen I’m layin’ in your arms and it don’t feel right,

oh‘Cause every time I feelin’ up you try to bring me downSo I feel good knowin’ I don’t need you around

‘Cause I know, I know that I can feel this bad all by myself, hoo, yeahAnd maybe that’s my best betStartin’ this time I’m gonna think selfishlyAnd never depend on someone else for keepin’ me happy, oh, no, no

I won’t be a fool, a fool for love‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy, oh, noI’m not gonna choose, choose for you‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy, oh... I-I-I-I won’t be a fool, a fool for love‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappyI’m not gonna choose, choose for you‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy, ooh, yeah

I’m never gonna be a fool for loveI’d rather be alone, just give it upDon’t make no sense to be in loveAnd be here unhappy, oh, no It might feel good on a lonely nightBut layin’ in your arms today ain’t rightI’d rather lose you than lose my mindAnd be here unhappy with you, baby Ho...no, no, no, no, no, noI don’t wanna be a fool, no, no, noI don’t want to be a fool