nothing much

i want this to be my wedding song! i wanna cry!

2008-01-22T15:51:00.000+08:00

purest of pain

2008-01-22T15:45:00.000+08:00

sober by kelly clarkson

2007-08-15T11:07:00.000+09:00

And I dont know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothings real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts Ivebeen saving
So here I go with all my fearsweighing on me

Three months and Im still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept theflowers
But I know its never really over

And I dont knowI could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catcha glimpse of me
So I wont worry about my timing, Iwant to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no notthis time

Three months and Im still breathing
Been a long road since those hands
Ileft my tears in but
I knowIts never really over, noWake up

Three months and Im still standinghere
Three months and Im getting betteryeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and its still harder now
Three months Ive been living herewithout you now
Three months yeah
Three months I hurt
Three months and Im still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and Im still soberPicked all my weeds but kept theflowers

help me how to do it...

2007-08-08T17:10:00.000+09:00

I used to relate myself to a song "everybody`s changing",
'So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same'
so true, coz i really don`t feel like changing, until a friend of mine, told me to stop and love myself, if i want to be happy...
Honestly, I don’t know how to start it, but I have to, it’s exactly a year since that feeling captured me... I will never ever forget that, but I think that’s the only way to move on and start, I have to forget every single thing, It seems like, I’m the only person who can’t move on,..
I always give myself an excuse and consideration that it’s hard to go on and forget, but it’s not, it’s just that I don’t want to...
I know I’m acting like a fool every time I remember what happened and still get affected by him...
So much of him, I have to concentrate to myself,.. I’m saying this and I have to do it, I have to it, I have to do it...
I don’t know how, but I have to...
I need to concentrate to my work, friends and self...
I have to love myself from now on, not anyone else, not him...

is this a gift from God?

2006-07-11T12:47:00.000+09:00

I don`t know if what im feeling is true. All I know is I`m very happy today because of some reason...

why I cried?

2006-07-07T03:05:00.000+09:00

I realized that I still like him when annie talked to me about him ... I thought I`m over him and happy alone, but hurt sometimes awaken me... I cried because of the pain and the thought that he`s ignoring and avoiding me, I cried because I was so mad at him that I even want to curse him... It hurts a lot to know that he`s now involve with someone else, I don`t know what I`m feeling... All I know is, I HATE HIM today!!!

confusion attacks...

2006-06-26T17:53:00.000+09:00

I dont know what is it... am I insensitive and brave already? Or am I only trying to be one... Damn, I know I still like him, but I`m really tired of this feeling so I want to move in... I know I can and sometimes I feel I`m already over but its keeps on coming back... ahhhh....

what`s happening?

2006-06-18T21:45:00.000+09:00

Happy Father`s DAy... I don`t have a Dad but I know He`s just there guiding and watching me all the way...

I love you!

Goodbye... go to hell...

2006-06-18T21:28:00.000+09:00

Goodbye to you... as I loved and as a friend(?). I think so, coz you`re such a cold blooded person with no heart... you`re nothing but a user one and a fucking dreamer...

changing my career path

2006-06-18T21:17:00.000+09:00

I worked as a call center agent before and as an accounting graduate i still have plans of becoming a Certified Public accountant, just like my brother and just like my mother expecting me to be. After I resigned at my call center company becoz of boredom, i mean doing the same things again and again.

After resting for almost 3 months I tried to apply again to start my career as an accounting staff, but after waiting for the fucking promises of the company three times to call again for the next liar`s interview, im still waiting here for nothing until inthe third company the HR pushed me to be their Sales Assistant because of my experiences while discouraging me in the position that I want... (accounting staff, that`s better for experience and while taking my review)... but at the end She promised me to call if I`m qualified or not, but she didn`t call as always.

After series of war with my mother because of being jobless or "palamunin" im still hoping that my brother`s promise to pay for my review will happen... but I think destiny says it all, my dream to review didn`t happen and the last call for accounting staff that I`m praying comes to nothing...

Until, I realized why should not try to be in sales, maybe, just maybe, that`s my destiny... to be in sales or in a job that is more on talking or using my PR, like working in a call center again... and work hard as I can, and try to be happy with that job... what if I get rich with that, Am I right?

New friends

2006-06-17T16:27:00.000+09:00

We met Rene "ate glow" last saturday, June 17... the next day it was wednesday Ate glow joined 2 more gays one of them is Pretty Trisha and believe me he`s so nice that you wont even realized that he`s a star... and before we seperate our ways he promised that he will treat us the following day at the same place... and on the next day, it was June 15. He came with IC Mendoza, Inday Badiday`s Grand Son... He`s so pretty and young and nice as well... The two of them made our night so happy and wonderful that we forgot our problems and believe me or not it was like we watched their stand up comedy show that night... Heyahhh to them, I wish luck to their career and I know they will become successful soon coz of their good heart!

it hurts...

2006-06-17T16:08:00.000+09:00

it really hurt me... i Didnt know when to start until i realized that i have enough... i learned to move on and love myself... I have to think about myself, there`s a lot in life waiting for me... but it is hurting me to feel that its like he doesnt even know me... as if i don`t exist... the cold text and conversation and avoiding me when we`re together... I tried so hard to get back the friendship though its so hard. I don`t even want to get mad to him but its like he`s pushing me to feel that...

i`d rather be alone by Karyn White

2006-06-17T16:02:00.000+09:00

Mmm...mmm...I don’t wanna be a fool, I don’t wanna be a fool for loveNo, no, I won’t, noHey, no, ooh...

I know that people do go through changes, yeahBut this just don’t make no damn senseIf we’re gonna keep sayin’ we love one another, yeah, yeahWell, then we better stop fightin’ and arguin’

‘Cause baby, I’ve heard “I’m sorry” too many, many times beforeNow I know betterIt hurts to hold on to this kind of love even moreNo, I’m not crazy

I won’t be a fool, a fool for love‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappyI’m not gonna choose, choose for you‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy

I know it’s time to go when I feel lonelyWhen I’m layin’ in your arms and it don’t feel right,

oh‘Cause every time I feelin’ up you try to bring me downSo I feel good knowin’ I don’t need you around

‘Cause I know, I know that I can feel this bad all by myself, hoo, yeahAnd maybe that’s my best betStartin’ this time I’m gonna think selfishlyAnd never depend on someone else for keepin’ me happy, oh, no, no

I won’t be a fool, a fool for love‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy, oh, noI’m not gonna choose, choose for you‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy, oh... I-I-I-I won’t be a fool, a fool for love‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappyI’m not gonna choose, choose for you‘Cause I know I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy, ooh, yeah

I’m never gonna be a fool for loveI’d rather be alone, just give it upDon’t make no sense to be in loveAnd be here unhappy, oh, no It might feel good on a lonely nightBut layin’ in your arms today ain’t rightI’d rather lose you than lose my mindAnd be here unhappy with you, baby Ho...no, no, no, no, no, noI don’t wanna be a fool, no, no, noI don’t want to be a fool

Oo of UpDharmaDown

2006-05-23T17:05:00.000+09:00

'di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
'di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa aking inaasam makita kang muli
Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako ay iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, 'di mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa'yo
Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
'di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal
'di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
'di mo lang alam
Ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
'di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
Napapaligaya lang sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako'y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman
Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako'y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko
'di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
Isang kindat man lang
'di mo lang alam
O, ika'y minamasdan
Sana iyo'y mamalayang di mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo
Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan

Just to let you know

2006-05-23T16:50:00.000+09:00

I was a jealous person as always. It came to a point that I almost lost a great friend. i`m just glad that she never left me at all. She stayed with me during that time. Yesterday, we were together and i miss her so much. She`s the only person that understands me this moment. And though I denied to her one thing, I know she knows the truth. Coz I know she can read my mind and I feel that she loves me so much.

What I do best!

2006-05-23T03:48:00.000+09:00

What I do best!

I do best in things that I love to do. And I will never be happy in things that i was told to do.

What I do best!

2006-05-23T03:44:00.000+09:00

What I do best!